I mention this as, with so much of the excitement of the borderlands now but a fading memory, I myself have returned to the old haunt to take up the occasional caper, cavort, frisk, skip, prance, romp, gambol, jig, bound, leap, jump, spring, bob, hop, trip, bounce, and, if I may be so bold, rollick.

And to my surprise, yesterday an esteemed customer of Schools.co.uk found her way to the Bollard and asked me to dance.

After a jig to Ed Sheeran’s “Castle On The Hill” she turned to me and said, “You’re very good.”

I smiled graciously, admitting the truth of what she said.

“How long have you been dancing?” she enquired.

“A long time,” I replied shortly for it is not the done thing to talk too much about the past while in the Bollard.

“You mean like five years?” she asked.

My smile faded a little. “Longer than that,” I said.

“How long?” she persisted.

“I taught the Warner Brothers to dance,” I said.

“Who are they?” she said.

If you really think you can take more of this, Tony Attwood is on Facebook.