What happens when the meeting place of Rutland’s wildest gangs becomes a dance club?

Many years back there was a public house of ill repute not far from my offices, sitting resplendent on the wild borderland that marks the co-joining of the county boundaries of Leicestershire, Northamptonshire and Rutland.

Called “The Toppled Bollard” for reasons that will not become clear at this point, it was the scene of many an unsavoury conspiracy as often as not involving retailers of second hand 45rpm records, Ofsted school inspectors, criminal headteachers, and senior officials from the Liberal Party.

But times move, and such wild and jolly days are long behind us. The Bollard is still there, but it now has about it a serenity that belies its explosive past.  The machines that made fake ID cards for the more dubious members of Parliament have been demolished, and the floor has been mopped clean.

And now the Toppled Bollard has a new role in life - as a modern jive dance club, where members of the Rutland aristocracy mingle with Corby’s lower orders in nights of jollity and attempts to learn the double arm reverse switchback, a dance move that has reduced many a retired gangster to tears if not downright penury.

The headline in an email is as important as the first line in a conversation

I mentioned earlier this week that the infamous Toppled Bollard public house, seated proudly in the wild border country where Leicester and Northants collide with ancient Rutland, has of late been restored to some of its former glory and reopened as a dance club.

Being something of an aficionado of the Terpsichorean Muse I have, of course, re-acquainted myself with the establishment that is still only spoken of in this region in hushed voices behind closed doors.

And yet that reluctance to re-embrace the old place is a shame, for it makes a perfect place to which one can “boogie on down” as we regulars say, and one that I have been pleased to re-acquaint myself with.

Thus it was that last night I returned to the venue, and indeed forthwith a woman asked me to dance.

In direct marketing one should always grab the reader by the throat, and ensure he/she can’t escape.

I recently visited the Toppled Bollard dance club (of which it has been said), and a woman asked me to dance.

She was, to put it mildly, utterly, amazingly, incredibly, amazing.

At the end of the dance I said to her, “That was staggeringly brilliant. I could dance with you forever. When we dance it is as if we are one, we are the same person. You seem to be able to see exactly which move I am about to make before I even raise my hand. That was perfection.”

Why, when you are being experimental in your advertising, you should not panic at the first negative response.

Last night at the Toppled Bollard a woman asked me to dance - as was appropriate since the Bollard is now a dance club.

As we started she said, “Go easy with me, I’m a beginner.”

I said, “That’s ok, I’m a beginner too.”

She said, “No you’re not – I’ve watched you dancing, you’re amazing. And my friend told me you taught the Warner Brothers to dance.”

I said, “That was just a joke.”